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The Tale of Umberto the Cucumber
» November 30, 2005 2:19 PM by Nicole
In the year 1989, a leading biotech research amalgam called FUTURO VEGGIETECH funded an uber-secret project headed by Dr. LeRoy Wiggensteen. His mission: to create the world's first sentient vegetable, a cucumber dubbed 'UMBERTO.'
Dr. Wiggensteen watched as little Umberto grew and grew, soaking up information like a sponge. (Even though he was, as I said before, a cucumber.) They became friends.
Then one day, Umberto was to meet Dr. Wiggenstein for a quick play of the back nine at Pebble Beach. Umberto never showed. After an hour of downing Harvey Wallbangers at the clubhouse, Doc Wiggensteen returned home to find Umberto engaged in intimate relations with his wife.
Click Here For More UMBERTO pix on Flickr
Comments
Cucumber! You were so cool from the start, but
Burnt Umber! must be the color of your heart!
Posted by: ryan | December 3, 2005 10:21 PM
Umberto! Oh, how could you betray
The man who gave you the life you have today?
ROCK!
Posted by: jakob | December 5, 2005 11:51 AM
We should put up an mp3 of the Umberto song, but I don't think we have a version with the lyrics, since we sang them live on stage.
If any Constant Readers would like to donate to our 'Rent time in a recording studio' fund, we'd be more than happy to get that tune up here.
Posted by: Awol | December 5, 2005 12:12 PM
We should definitely make a live recording, because it'll be a hit single. Seriously, I smell a Grammy... not the award, but rather the old lady who just walked by. Hey-oh!
Posted by: jakob | December 5, 2005 5:20 PM
MORE UMBERTO!!!!!
umberto rules!
Posted by: Dave | December 14, 2005 11:37 AM