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Letter to Lara
» May 31, 2005 3:03 PM by Nicole
My buddy Mark Fortin needs a job. He recently decided to strike up a correspondence with Lara Flynn Boyle (remember her from Poltergeist 3?) seeking employment as her personal assistant. I'd hire him fo' sho! See his letter below:
Dear Ms. Boyle,
I would love to work for you.
I would love to be there to light your Marlboros while you do the 2K morning
run on your treadmill. I would love to give you your morning to-do list details while you pretend to eat your breakfast. I would love to hold your hand while you drunk dial Jack Nicholson at 3 in the morning. I would love to keep daily tabs on your height, which is decreasing thanks to your shockingly low bone density. I would love to hold your hair while you vomit, because you can't remember whether or not you ate any
breakfast by accident, and then forgot.
I would love to work for you.
Sincerely,
Mark Fortin
Comments
is this mark fortin as in THE mark fortin from emerson college? i happen to know that lara flynn boyle is crazy for ex bean towners.
Posted by: lisa gerber | June 14, 2005 12:11 PM
Is there any other?
Mr. Fortin (a.k.a The Thunder Down Under, a.k.a. Senior Dirty Sanchez) is taking The City of Angels by storm. I hear he spends most of his days shopping and viciously backstabbing the tweens that hang out at Universal City Walk with his wicked chum Heidi Fleiss. And rumor has it that his nights are spent at a local hot spot called "The Loose Roost."
I can tell he's really going to make something of himself in this town called Hollywood. And I can't wait for that to happen...so I can borrow money from him.
Posted by: Nicole | June 14, 2005 2:47 PM