Goldie, but a Goody.

» March 25, 2005 7:11 PM by Ryan

So, I think I finally found my perfect job. I'm going to grow up to be one of the assclowns who writes blurb copy for the DVD cases of mediocre movies. To give you an example of what I'm talking about, check this HI-LARIOUS summary of Private Benjamin, which I found on Netflix:

After her husband drops dead on their wedding night, spoiled society girl Judy Benjamin (Goldie Hawn) decides to join the army -- a choice with consequences both explosiveand explosively funny. The situation is mined (no pun intended) for plenty of laughs, but in the end, this classic comedy is about Judy's inspiring search for identity and independence.

HEEEY-OOOOH! Talk about Sure FIRE comedy! I am determined to gain employment as the jackass who writes this stuff. Who's with me? Try your hand at some practice blurbs for your favorite mediocre movies here in the comments, even if you've never seen 'em!