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The First Post in a Long, Funny Fence.
» June 7, 2004 5:36 PM by Ryan
For a long time now, we here at Mighty McPilgrim have been planning, pushing, hoping and nagging to get our public group weblog going. We'd like Mighty McPilgrim.com to become an active place, full of dance, laughter, discussion and jello shots, where the four of us can express our hopes, dreams, nags and burgeoning jokes to everyone out there in the old Interweb. We'll fill this space best we can with troupe news, rants, fresh sketch ideas, general tomfoolery, and probably some occasional funny links.
And porn. Man, such good porn. Believe me, we know our audience.
So, I mentioned nagging. As the resident tall, handsome webmaster here at MMP, developing this website has been primarily my responsibility... and I've done my best to get it going as quickly as possible. But apparently there's just no pleasing certain people, including hundreds of fans who email us daily, and also three (3) actual members of the comedy troupe itself. As a gentleman, I will respect their anonymity. The anonymity of those anonymous bastards.
But why has it taken me so long to get the friggin' blog working? I'll answer the same way I answer most questions regarding delays, mistakes, broken promises and unfunny material here at Mighty McPilgrim....
It's Andrew's fault. Totally and completely. As usual.
As many of you know (and thank you for your notes and balloons), earlier this year I was attacked by a gaggle of wild beavers, just north of Lake Tahoe. Andrew had promised me a relaxing weekend of "male-bonding" and "extreme-fishing" and "good old-fashioned American mamal-shooting". He said it would be good for our friendship and for the success of the troupe. He said not to be such a "wuss", and to "get in the damn car, candy-ass". But he sure didn't say much as six rabid beavers bonded extremely toothily to my good old-fashioned American male mammal. I guess SOMEBODY just couldn't hear me screaming, for like 45 minutes, with pain shooting through my face. Maybe he was too busy reading Maxim, eating my egg salad sammich, and losing my $179 fishing rod.
Anyway, this attack rendered me essentially paralyzed from the waist up, so I haven't been able to work on the site (or to forgive Andrew) for months. My arms and typing finger are useless. I have, however, done a lot of walking. And kicking. And I can hop, sometimes. But now that the blog has finally begun, I hope you'll share it with us, and not let Andrew's disgusting inhumanity prevent you from returning soon to read this site.
And as you read, may smiles spring to your faces... just as those giant sharp teeth sprang toward my ribcage and crotch.
Comments
As a nagging member of the group, I thank you Ryan for your diligent work in getting this weblog up and running. Now get to work on Brutally Honest Abe, ya lazy piece a' doody!!
Ha, ha, ha. I kid, I joke, but most likely I nag.
Oh and just so you know, I blame Andrew as well. No reason, just cuz.
Posted by: jakob | June 8, 2004 9:11 AM
Jakob, don't be hatin' on Ryan. That's not nice. I don't want everyone to think we're mean-spirited jackholes. Have a heart.
Oh, but feel free to hate on Andrew. That cheeky bugger deserves it.
Posted by: nicole | June 8, 2004 11:05 AM
His cheekiness is exceeded only by his buggery.
Posted by: Ryan | June 8, 2004 1:16 PM
Well kids, it looks as if I've gotta fix a couple of access issues before we can get public comments working. I'll try to get that done as soon as possible (and maybe work on the design here is the process).
So never fear, Web At Large! You'll have your say soon. Until then, thr four of us will just insult each other.
Nicole: You're a dog!
Posted by: Ryan | June 8, 2004 1:29 PM
Ryan: you're a PINKO.
Posted by: nicole | June 8, 2004 1:54 PM
Hey y'all!!
So is this all you guys do? Make "jokes"? And post "funny" quips? And create "humorous" films?
Because everything is just SOOOO funny isn't it?
All your lives are just SOOOOOOO humorous!
Well. HA HA HA
Hardy Har. ha ha! ha ha!
p.s. I really like New York and New Yorkers. I dunno why everyone thinks we're mean and sarcastic.
Sheesh! Can't these people take a joke?!?!
Posted by: Jessica Trimble | June 10, 2004 10:44 AM
Hey Jessica 'New Yorker' Trimble,
Sarcasm is mean. Try categorizing your humor as "flippant," instead. You'll get away with so much more.
So, remember. Next time you're talking to a guy and you make a snide comment about how it must have taken him all morning to figure out how to button his shirt, just follow it up with a cute smile and say, "I was only being flip."
Offensive? NO! Sassy? YES!
Posted by: nicole | June 10, 2004 11:13 AM
Wow!... my friends and relatives warned me smoking pot all the time would effect my offspring!
.....I'm so glad they were right!
Peace, Love and Haziness to you all!
Posted by: Nicole's Dad | June 10, 2004 11:47 AM
Oh, I don't think it affected me that much.
On another note, I don't think it affected me that much.
Posted by: nicole | June 10, 2004 12:00 PM
thank you Ryan for fixing the blog...so that I may have something to do at work other than OCD checking craigslist and rocking like Rain Man ;0)
what's a pinko?
Posted by: carrie ;0) | June 10, 2004 1:08 PM
clearly my dictionary at work is ridiculously outdated (and i somewhat have my head up my butt..)
no need to answer what a pinko is.
i know.
Posted by: carrie | June 10, 2004 1:11 PM
According to Google, it's an "emotionally charged terms used to refer to extreme radicals or revolutionaries". And that's me, all right. A revolutionary.
A Sexual revolutionary!
Posted by: Ryan | June 10, 2004 2:04 PM
Also: welcome, friends and family from the East Coast!
Posted by: Ryan | June 10, 2004 2:24 PM
i visit this damn site every damn day to see if a damn thing has been done to it, and i'll be damned if i don't go away for 3 days and not only has something changed, but there are 13 damn comments tagged onto the damn end of the damn thing.
damn. where's my cheese log?
Posted by: jimmy jojobean | June 11, 2004 12:51 PM
So there was some extreme fishing on said trip, but where was the EXTREME IRONING?? Sad boys, just plain sad.
Posted by: To The Xtreme | June 11, 2004 12:54 PM
Also great prices on cocksucking, motherfucking, and GET THE HELL OFF OUR SITE!
Fuckin' spambots.
Posted by: awol | July 8, 2004 11:13 AM
Look at all the pharms who want to be our friends! I figured it was only a matter of time before perscription drugs started using the internet themselves. AMERICA! What a country!
Posted by: nicole | July 8, 2004 11:32 AM